Sex Complex
a Blog From Emerald Sexual Health Consulting, LLC
September 13, 2020
Bold statement, I know. Obviously I can't wave a magic wand. I would if I could. I also can't be naive either. Covid-19 has reminded me of the vast ignorance the American education system has left many of its citizens.
Whether ignorance breeds immaturity or immaturity allows ignorance to fester, is a mute point . The fact of the matter... The immaturity of our nation is truly despicable and it's tearing apart our right to a sexual life, sexual liberty, and sexual happiness. Sexual immaturity is shown though everyday via social media platforms in the form of sexual harassment. To end sexual harassment means ending sexual immaturity.
To clarity, I do not mean sexual maturity in the biological sense. I mean it in the behavioral sense. Sexual immaturity occurs when individuals are not given truly honest and comprehensive sexuality education from those expected to be their role models or when they lack an outlet to learn from others of the same age.
When people react to sex with laughter we assume they are reacting immaturely. We do this especially with younger boys who may find themselves navigating a world that doesn't bother to teach them about sexuality. We don’t take their needs seriously. Our culture finds male sexuality to be hilarious. When boys start masturbating they do not get any respect. We make fun of the fact they do it, we make fun of the fact they try to hide it, we make fun of the fact they enjoy it, we make fun of them when they get caught, etc., etc. It’s as if we sexually harass young boys and then expect them to get over it and learn how to behave maturely eventually. Then we wonder why boys will be boys. What do you expect from someone who has never been given a change to be free from having their sexuality made fun of?
In classrooms across America there is a great chance that everyone in the class will laugh when subjects of body parts and puberty are brought up. We don’t bother to break down the laughter and have serious discussions about why we laugh at the word penis, but not elbow. We shun the laughter and we don't go beyond anything more complicated than that. We never go beyond to ask why the class is laughing or to question if they can laugh at something and also normalize it. Farts are funny and normal!
Trust me, I don’t want to eliminate humor from sexuality. I want to redirect it. Progressive sexuality education eliminates sexual immaturity. There are opportunities for us to learn about our sexualities everyday. The less we learn, the more we remain immature. If we were never given opportunities to become comfortable talking about sex then we are unable to start new sexual relationships. What ends up happening is people get neglected and they get stuck. They learn the shitty parts about sex, without learning that they are responsible for their sexual growth and thinking deeply about who they are as a sexual person.
Adults are not shining role models when it comes to sexual maturity. My advice is, don’t participate in the humiliation of young people who are developing sexually. If your sister calls you to tell you about the socks she found in your nephews room, don't participate. Remind the people in your life that it's not appropriate to talk smack on a little one's sexual development.
Sexual harassment won't end unless the culture surrounding sexuality education changes. To change behavior we need to replace it with a new behavior within a conducive environment. A person who needs to stop smoking will often replace their habit with something positive (exercise) or something negative (over eating). A person who is sexually immature will learn that sexually harassing others is getting them some form of reward.
How do we get people to become sexually mature? We need to reward sexual maturity and rewire sexual immature behavior. There are many steps our culture can take to help end sexual harassment. Utilize the services provided by Emerald Sexual Health Consulting to help your community learn how!
For more information contact Ashley Gadarowski at emeraldsexualhealth@outlook.com